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  Family - Weekend Effect

Conversion to New Life in the Church

Edited by Ralph & Karen Lewis

(Excerpted from Spring 1996 Matrimony magazine)

The Marriage Encounter Weekend is designed to teach couples to communicate more intimately and to remind them that God has a plan for their marriage. For many, the importance of developing their spiritual life as a couple was awakened or rekindled by their Weekend experience.

Over the years, hundreds (perhaps thousands) of M.E. couples have made radical changes in their lives as they realized the importance of working toward unity in their religious beliefs and prayer life. These are a few couples' stories received when Matrimony asked about the role of the Weekend in their “Conversion to New Life in the Church”

Tim & Renee Praag of Sandy, Utah

Tim & Renee Praag were married July 22, 1982. They were first attracted to the Weekend by an M.E. bumper sticker that Renee saw while driving home from work. Tim & Renee made their Weekend in November, 1993.

Tim: Our early days of marriage had many ups and downs. Renee and I had both been married before, and we both have children. Our involvement in any church was non-existent. Renee had not been raised with any religion, and I had drifted away (from the Church) for over 30 years.

Renee: Prayer in my life used to be like a call to 911 - "Help me, please!" It was never regular, and long periods went by when I didn't pick up the phone at all.

Tim: I had not prayed, really prayed, for over 40 years. I was born and raised Catholic, attended a Catholic boys' school, sang in the church choir, was an alter boy, and up to the age 16 I attended Mass on a regular basis. Then I drifted away from the Church and prayer. In November, 1993, Renee and I went on our M.E. Weekend, and an incredible change came into our life.

For me, being raised Catholic in the forties and fifties, going on a Weekend in the nineties was a real eye-opener. To hear a priest open up and talk about himself, his struggles and shortcomings was just not heard of in my early days of Catholicism. Then the 3 presenting couples sharing their lives . . . and how they found a better way to relate to one another and grow more deeply in love - I can't describe any part of the experience that affected me the most - the whole Weekend was so powerful. On Sunday of our Weekend, we both realized that it was the Lord himself that had sent us there. This was His way of bringing me back to the Church, and to have Renee share in this happiness and the love of Christ.

Renee: After our Weekend, we realized that the spiritual part was missing in our life. Still, we were not sure how to go about changing this.

Tim: We both knew God had other and better plans for us, and we started returning to the Catholic Church, and to prayer. At first, I felt strange and out of place asking God for anything. After all, I had deserted Him for over 30 years. I remember the first few times I prayed. It felt awkward. I didn't know how to start and I didn't know how to finish. I did not remember what it had felt like praying in my younger years, and could not compare prayer then and now.

We attended RCIA (Right of Christian Initiation for Adults) together and both got more insight about prayer. I felt love returning into my life and between Renee and myself. A glowing warmth had entered our life.

Renee: There was still a big important aspect of prayer that was not in our life yet. We tried praying together, but it felt strange and uncomfortable. We felt shy with each other and were shy about initiating prayer time. We would slack off for a few days, and strangely enough, those days felt incomplete. We tried various times that would suit us best for praying together. It seemed that right after dialogue and before going to sleep at night were best for our prayer times.

Tim: The week of April 10th, 1995, Renee and I received all the blessings of the Church. We received the Sacrament of Marriage and the Sacrament of Reconciliation on the same day. Later that week, Renee was baptized and confirmed. At the Easter Vigil, Renee and I received the Eucharist as a couple for the first time. Never in my life had I been so happy and felt so close to Renee, as we felt God's power and love come over us like a beautiful mantle covering us both.

Mike & Peggy Gaertig of Lompoc, California

Mike & Peggy Gaertig were married on July 20, 1968. Peggy heard about Marriage Encounter in l976, and by 1978 had talked Mike into going on a Weekend.

Mike: Before our Marriage Encounter Weekend, I was very content. My life with Peggy was good. In our early marriage, I would come straight home after a hard day's work to a hot meal already prepared. We enjoyed eating together each night. After dinner I would go out and play the many sports I was involved in, leaving Peg with the dishes and the children. After a few years, I was disappointed with our sex life - Peg was usually too tired. By the Modern World standards, our marriage probably would have rated average.

Peggy: Our early years of marriage were wonderful for me. We did everything together and we loved being together. Mike was in the Air Force and we moved around a lot, but we always had each other. Sometimes I referred to it as "playing house."

There was one thing that was missing in our life, and that bothered me. I was brought up in The First Christian Church, and until we got married it was part of my life. I was involved in the youth group at church, where we sometimes studied other religions At the age of 15, I was being drawn to the Catholic Church, but my family was not happy about it and I put the idea on the back burner.

Later, my feelings about becoming Catholic resurfaced when I was about to be married to Mike. He made it very clear that if I turned Catholic, he wouldn't marry me. So again the thought was left on the back burner. I always wanted Mike to go to church with me, but he didn't see the need or reason to be there. Sometimes I would just go without him and I remember feeling lost when he wasn't with me at church.

Mike: My involvement with the church - well, I believed in God occasionally, if I was having a nice day on the golf course. I had been raised Lutheran until I rebelled at the age of 12. I decided I didn't need any more of that church stuff. Peg and I were married in The First Christian Church, her church...but being married by a justice of the peace would have been all the same to me. I really didn't care for all the big to-do anyway.

Peggy: When the children started coming, I really didn't go to church anymore. My life was the children and being Mike's wife. By this time, Mike was usually off doing his thing, and I was holding down the fort at home. Often, I felt trapped and stepped on by Mike. It was at this time that I wanted our relationship to change. I don't know if I knew what was missing at the time, I just knew I was lonely and wanted more out of our marriage.

Mike: The main reason I went on a Marriage Encounter Weekend was to get Peggy off my back! She and some of our friends had been bugging me for two years to go on a Weekend. On the Weekend I became aware of who I was, how I was behaving, and how I was (in some ways) mistreating Peg. I saw an inner peace and joy in the presenting couples that I wanted. I also became aware that something was missing in my life. It was the presence of God. On Saturday, God took out His 4 by 4 and got my attention. I am very hard-headed. Peggy had written in her notebook that she wanted to see Father Steve (the presenting priest) as soon as possible. I told her I wanted to see him also. The Marriage Encounter Weekend and that meeting with Father Steve was the start of my conversion to becoming Catholic.

Peggy: On our Weekend, I can remember being in awe of the couples' relationships. I wanted what they had for Mike and myself. Mike and I rediscovered the deep love we had for each other, and we couldn't get enough of each other. We were in touch with each other on a new level, and it was wonderful. Sometime Saturday afternoon I knew I had to see Father Steve, as my feelings of love for the Catholic Church were resurfacing. I wanted God in our relationship and we needed to become one in Him. I didn't even know where we would start or what would happen.

Mike: Starting on our Weekend, I felt an excitement that had an urgency to it. I knew that I could never go back to the person I was before our Weekend.

Peggy: I think we both knew in our hearts that we wanted to become Catholic...We probably made the decision in about a week. We called the team priest from our Weekend and he gave us all of our instruction. I can remember how hungry we were for learning about the Church. We knew it was for us and we couldn't wait to become fully Catholic. We had a special Mass just for us. All of the teams from our Weekend were there. We were so nervous, yet the excitement was awesome. It was such a memorable time for me, especially because Mike wanted this as much as I did. The fact that we made the conversion together is one of the highlights of my life.

Mike: Our marriage was already considered valid in the Church, as were our baptisms. On April 2, 1978, we first received the Sacrament of Reconciliation. The next day we celebrated our confirmation and first communion at Mass. I felt the presence of Jesus in the Eucharist. I had feeling of contentment and belonging. Our two sons were baptized nine days later. Father Steve invited his high school confirmation class to act as proxy godparents and to participate in their baptism.

Peggy: The conversion continues to be a blessing to both of us. There are times when I still can't believe that Mike is sitting next to me at Mass. Sometimes when we're Eucharistic Ministers, tears come to my eyes. I can see the growth in us, and I'm reminded of where we have come from.

Mike: Our Marriage Encounter Weekend was the start of a new beginning for me. It was like a stepping stone to new adventures. We continue to grow in relationship with God and each other through our dialogue. We truly believe in the grace that the Weekend offers and are doing our best to live that lifestyle.

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