eMatrimony.org

Supporting, Encouraging, and Challenging the WWME Community

  Family - Weekend Effect

Change of Career, Change of Heart

Don & Barb Mooney

(Excerpted from Fall 1987 Matrimony magazine)

Several years ago I was the working mother of two small boys. By the world's standard, I was a success. I earned $25,000 a year. We owned our own home and two cars. We were able to buy nice things and our children seemed happy in day care.

lf this was the case then why was there a deep sadness in my heart? Why did I sit at my desk at work and feel such unrest? At times I was unable to concentrate. My thoughts were with our children. The fact that someone else was instilling their values into these tiny heads would hit me like a thunderclap. My heart would beat faster and my stomach would knot up as I wondered if they were getting a hug or a kind word when they needed it.

The reason for these feelings of sadness and unrest became clear to me on our Marriage Encounter weekend. We heard about the world's Plan and we heard about God's plan. We heard our Church calling us to a radical change in lifestyle. We had been living a successful “world's plan” lifestyle, but our feelings of sadness and unrest had been telling us all along that what was missing from our lives was God's Plan for our marriage. Together, we chose to live His plan for us in the future, though we didn't know how we would do it.

Sacrifices and Joys

Shortly after our Weekend I became pregnant with our third child. I was still working. We were meshing our lives with those of other encountered couples. As we witnessed them striving to live a new way, and saw their trust in God, we felt lifted up and hopeful for us. Shortly before I was due to have the baby, Don got a new job. We decided that his raise in salary would allow us to risk living on his income alone. I quit my job.

We started working with other couples on our big World Marriage Day Celebration. We planned a huge ten foot wedding cake. I was supposed to collect the individual cakes to form the large cake, but God had other plans. On the morning in question l went into labor and gave birth to a World Marriage Day Baby, named Jessica! Because she was three weeks early, and born on this special day, we believed that God was reminding us of His love and support. We knew we were right in putting our children's formation (both born and unborn) before money and possessions. From the love we felt on the day of her birth, we have never doubted that sacrificing even to the extreme, at times, has brought us joy. It is in these times of unconditional sacrificial love that we are most united with Jesus.

l, especially, needed that experience of joy in the days ahead. Those first months at home with a new baby weren't easy! My self worth bottomed out. I was no longer a working woman, making a salary, feeling pride in my accomplishments. I didn't know many of the other mothers in the neighborhood. I felt alone; good only for changing dirty diapers and cleaning house. Each day the world seemed to knock louder on my door, telling me my new "career' was a mistake. One day, feeling completely worthless, I cried out to God, "I'm here because it's your plan! Help me! Lord, let me become settled and at peace about this change, once and for all!" God answered my prayer by sending me a special friend, another mother living God's plan. We were this couple's prayer couple on their Encounter Weekend, and we grew to love them very much. I began sharing with her and the days became easier and even joy-filled.

Love to the Rescue

The following year Don lost his job. We were expecting our fourth child now, but rather than feeling panic about the future, we felt at peace. God was in control. By the world's standards we were crazy to feel peace. We had no job, no insurance, and a new child on the way. But we were upheld by other couples who shared our values and beliefs. Don found a job rather quickly, but the insurance was still a problem. The baby was due near the end of October and Don's insurance would not take effect until December 1st.

Then God's people gathered to give us a baby shower. They presented us with a banner that had pockets sewn into the bottom, and these pockets were filled with envelopes of money. It seemed heaven had come to earth and we were surrounded by angels! The amount of money we received was exactly the amount it would cost to pay the doctor and hospital bills for the baby's delivery.

Again, God had other plans for us. Jessica had come three weeks early... Rebecca, our fourth child, arrived four weeks late. Yes, you guessed it - she was born on December 1st, the day the insurance went into effect. (She weighed 11 pounds!) What did we do with the money? Well,72 hours after her birth, the engine in our one remaining car blew up. It cost just that amount of money to fix it. OK, God! Dare we not trust you now?

Values Become Reality

When the angel appeared to Mary and asked her to make a radical change in her lifestyle there must have been fear and questioning in her heart. Her answer was "yes". In the months and years ahead she found dignity in changing diapers and wiping runny noses. Through Mary's example, and through the example and encouragement of you dear lovers, I too know that dignity and joy.

In the past I had heard our Holy Father calling Catholic women to be open to children and to be in the home with them, as Mary was. It took flesh and blood people in the Encounter, however, calling forth and living these values, to help us make these changes ourselves.

We are so grateful for you in our lives. Without your support our values may have remained dreams. Instead they are a reality. Often when we tuck little Jessie and Becky in at night we wonder if they would even be here without you lovers who showed us, by your lives, the wonders of God's plan for us!

[Editor's note: Don & Barb, a former presenting team, have been involved in many ministries in their parish. Currently they do much of the "behind the scenes' work for the Retrouvaille, the Rediscovery Weekend for troubled marriages. Barb says, “I'm needed at home full time now, more than ever. We've since had our fifth child, Kathleen. What a blessing she is!”]

Click here for a printable version (PDF, 12KB)