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  Family - Weekend Effect

The Last Word, "JOY"

Fr. Phil Halstead

(Excerpted from 1986 Issue No. 2 Worldwide Family Spirit magazine)

In April of 1974 I was an Air Force chaplain assigned to Lackland AFB, Texas. The city of San Antonio was a fine place to be stationed. I had been ordained 12 years and was moving right along as priest. I had received the Carpenter Award as the outstanding young chaplain of the Air Force in 1972. Everything seemed to be going my way. But there was something missing. I was not as happy as I thought I would be at this stage in my journey to the Lord. I seemed to be doing holy things without becoming holy. This had me very worried. I was in a slump and couldn't figure out why.

My neighbors across the street, Ralph & Susan Staffler, invited me to go on one of those Marriage Encounter weekends. I declined. I wasn't married and I didn't want any more encounters than I already had.

But for some reason I kept thinking about how happy they were. I wanted some of that same joy. They had been married twelve years, the same length of time I had been ordained. After about six months of watching them live a joy-filled life I decided it was time for me to find out why.

At the weekend, I fell in love once again. I found out that the way to keep happy was to be myself, not what I thought everyone wanted me to be. What a joy to be able to be me. For twelve years I had done all the right things, but I had not formed any close friendships. This weekend opened up doors that I thought were permanently closed.

I think it hit me during Sacrament and It's Graces on Sunday morning. A little line about the grace of healing jarred me. I only thought of Confession as the Sacrament of Reconciliation. On Sunday April 21, 1974 | learned the importance of healing and that it must start with the couple at home. The breath of fresh air that came in fired me up. I could hardly wait to get back to my parishioners and fellow priests to share with them.

And every day since that day I have experienced a renewal of my priesthood. I constantly refer to Kermit the frog who sings the Rainbow Connection. A silly little song? No way! That song reminds me every day that no matter what happens in my life, there is always the rainbow of God's love and I experience it in my solid relationships with my spouse, the Church, the People of God.

I have had the complete happiness for the last twelve years of sharing that love relationship on Marriage Encounter weekends across the world, in Europe, Asia and America. I firmly believe that Marriage Encounter is the best opportunity for married couples, priests and religious to renew their faith through love. God is so real to me now that I wonder what I did before my weekend.

As President of Pensacola Catholic High School everyday I face kids from broken families and yearn for the healing power of our Weekend to somehow touch their lives. With Jerry and Miesje Flach of Lutz, Florida I now serve as part of the ecclesial team for Section 5, Southeast United States. Our weekly trialogue combined with my daily dialogue gives me the grace of perseverance. I won't give up on my kids here at school and the possibility of happiness coming again to their families.

Fr. Phil

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