Family
- Weekend Effect
Our Journey In Adoption Revisited
Pete & Nancy Wright
Our Journey in Adoption Revisited
By Pete & Nancy Wright
Twenty plus years ago, we wrote about how our family grew by adoption,
with a lot of support from our WWME family. This is where we are
today.
The three Korean children we picked up in Korea were siblings,
4, 6, and 8 years old. They spoke no English, and our culture/diet
was totally foreign to them. Fortunately, John Soltis, a Maryknoll
Missioner and WWME team priest was here in Seattle, so we had translation
help until he was transferred. John's phone would ring and Nancy
would say something like, "Please tell this boy to put the
seat on the toilet down when he is done!" The kids wanted Christian
first names and we kept their Korean names as middle names. So,
they are Matt, Mark, and Suzi. When we took them to a swim meet
for the first time, and the starter fired his pistol, matt was shocked,
thinking he was shooting at the swimmers. There are many funny stories
of enculturation and adaptation, but suffice to say, they all grew
into typical American kids. They all went to college and are pursuing
their livelihoods in Montana, Los Angeles, and Seattle. In 2005,
the three of them traveled back to Korea and met their birth mom,
and various relatives. Fortunately, there were some English speakers
in the group, so many gaps in the kids early years were filled in
this emotional reunion was enabled by Jane White, the American woman
who runs the orphanage at Chechon where our kids lived at for a
year. Matt, Mark, and Suzi spent three days at the orphanage on
this trip, visiting with Jane and playing with the current crop
of children. Sadly, none of them will ever be adopted due to policy
changes made by the Korean government. The good news is that Jane
will provide them with a home and education until they leave at
age 18.
Our second oldest birth child, Paul and his wife Susie adopted
a Korean boy in 2004. They traveled to Korea and, while there, visited
the orphanage at Chechon. They too experienced the bitter/sweet
exposure to children who are thriving in an orphanage, but have
no family. Paul and Susie have just been assigned a little Korean
girl who was born on April 01. It will be Spring before a Korean
visa can be issued, so we are impatiently waiting for her. Her picture
looks down on us from the kitchen wall, and we are praying in her
behalf daily.
So, when baby girl gets here, she will make 5 adopted Koreans in
the family. We're telling them that kimchee does not go with Thanksgiving
turkey!
Our other two adopted children came to us when they were just a
couple of weeks old. Maria is Scotch-Irish/Hispanic and Katie is
Native American. We were very active in WWME when we got them, so
they traveled many places with us. The team priest we worked with,
Fr. Tom Vandenberg became like an uncle to them. Ask him about the
disastrous time Tom and Pete took Maria into the men's room at O'Hare
airport! Maria has been very interested in her Hispanic heritage
and received a Masters degree in Latino studies. She works in San
Diego, where there is plenty of opportunity to use her Spanish.
Katie got her high school degree and has taken courses at a community
college in office administration. She currently lives at home with
us. A few years ago, we were able to arrange a reunion for Katie
with her birth mom. Nancy handed her a bouquet of roses and managed
to say, "from one mom to another" before both dissolved
in tears. Katie stays in regular contact with her birth mom, and
she spent this last Thanksgiving weekend with us.
Making connections with birth parents seems to be so important
for meeting the need for belonging. And, it really hasn't been threatening
to us. We can imagine it might be, depending on circumstances, but
it's actually been a joy for us to help our children discover more
fully who they are.
Our two birth children and five adopted children have bonded just
as though they were all born into our family. Of course that means
that not everything is perfect. Three of our children are here in
Seattle, three are in Southern California, and one is in Montana.
So, we make a mighty effort to stay connected via phone. e-mail,
and reunions at holidays and during the summer. Family vacations
were always fun, and all seven kids, and now the grandkids make
them the highest priority.
Our two birth children, Paul and Terri deserve particular recognition.
They were 9 and 11 when this whole adoption steam roller started
rolling. Even though it meant giving up a lot of their comfort zone,
they went into it whole-heartedly. They were 13 and 15 when we added
the three Korean kids, and despite some nervousness, they put themselves
into it fully, and have been instrumental in keeping all seven children
connected as siblings.
So, it has been quite a journey. A lot of hard work and energy,
and a lot of joy and satisfaction. As they said in our weekend finance
talk, "we're asking you to give of your substance." That
we have done. Would we do it over? Of course, the answer is yes.
We saw it as the Gospel call back in 1978 when the adoption Journey
started, and we see it the same way today.
Click for a larger image (JPG, 110KB)
The Wright Family, 2005
Standing, L to R - Paul & wife Susie holding Joon, Matt, Katie,
Maria, Matt (Terri's husband), Mark and Pete. Kneeling L to R- Nancy,
Suzi, Terri (holding Anna) and Nicolas on the run.
Click
here for a printable version (PDF, 111KB)
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