eMatrimony Logo

eMatrimony.org

Supporting, Encouraging, and Challenging the WWME Community

News
Love Letters
Resources
Dialogue
Inviting
Prayer
Family
Priest's Corner
Links
Contact Us

  Family - Weekend Effect

Our Journey In Adoption Revisited

Pete & Nancy Wright

Our Journey in Adoption Revisited

By Pete & Nancy Wright

Twenty plus years ago, we wrote about how our family grew by adoption, with a lot of support from our WWME family. This is where we are today.

The three Korean children we picked up in Korea were siblings, 4, 6, and 8 years old. They spoke no English, and our culture/diet was totally foreign to them. Fortunately, John Soltis, a Maryknoll Missioner and WWME team priest was here in Seattle, so we had translation help until he was transferred. John's phone would ring and Nancy would say something like, "Please tell this boy to put the seat on the toilet down when he is done!" The kids wanted Christian first names and we kept their Korean names as middle names. So, they are Matt, Mark, and Suzi. When we took them to a swim meet for the first time, and the starter fired his pistol, matt was shocked, thinking he was shooting at the swimmers. There are many funny stories of enculturation and adaptation, but suffice to say, they all grew into typical American kids. They all went to college and are pursuing their livelihoods in Montana, Los Angeles, and Seattle. In 2005, the three of them traveled back to Korea and met their birth mom, and various relatives. Fortunately, there were some English speakers in the group, so many gaps in the kids early years were filled in this emotional reunion was enabled by Jane White, the American woman who runs the orphanage at Chechon where our kids lived at for a year. Matt, Mark, and Suzi spent three days at the orphanage on this trip, visiting with Jane and playing with the current crop of children. Sadly, none of them will ever be adopted due to policy changes made by the Korean government. The good news is that Jane will provide them with a home and education until they leave at age 18.

Our second oldest birth child, Paul and his wife Susie adopted a Korean boy in 2004. They traveled to Korea and, while there, visited the orphanage at Chechon. They too experienced the bitter/sweet exposure to children who are thriving in an orphanage, but have no family. Paul and Susie have just been assigned a little Korean girl who was born on April 01. It will be Spring before a Korean visa can be issued, so we are impatiently waiting for her. Her picture looks down on us from the kitchen wall, and we are praying in her behalf daily.

So, when baby girl gets here, she will make 5 adopted Koreans in the family. We're telling them that kimchee does not go with Thanksgiving turkey!

Our other two adopted children came to us when they were just a couple of weeks old. Maria is Scotch-Irish/Hispanic and Katie is Native American. We were very active in WWME when we got them, so they traveled many places with us. The team priest we worked with, Fr. Tom Vandenberg became like an uncle to them. Ask him about the disastrous time Tom and Pete took Maria into the men's room at O'Hare airport! Maria has been very interested in her Hispanic heritage and received a Masters degree in Latino studies. She works in San Diego, where there is plenty of opportunity to use her Spanish.

Katie got her high school degree and has taken courses at a community college in office administration. She currently lives at home with us. A few years ago, we were able to arrange a reunion for Katie with her birth mom. Nancy handed her a bouquet of roses and managed to say, "from one mom to another" before both dissolved in tears. Katie stays in regular contact with her birth mom, and she spent this last Thanksgiving weekend with us.

Making connections with birth parents seems to be so important for meeting the need for belonging. And, it really hasn't been threatening to us. We can imagine it might be, depending on circumstances, but it's actually been a joy for us to help our children discover more fully who they are.

Our two birth children and five adopted children have bonded just as though they were all born into our family. Of course that means that not everything is perfect. Three of our children are here in Seattle, three are in Southern California, and one is in Montana. So, we make a mighty effort to stay connected via phone. e-mail, and reunions at holidays and during the summer. Family vacations were always fun, and all seven kids, and now the grandkids make them the highest priority.

Our two birth children, Paul and Terri deserve particular recognition. They were 9 and 11 when this whole adoption steam roller started rolling. Even though it meant giving up a lot of their comfort zone, they went into it whole-heartedly. They were 13 and 15 when we added the three Korean kids, and despite some nervousness, they put themselves into it fully, and have been instrumental in keeping all seven children connected as siblings.

So, it has been quite a journey. A lot of hard work and energy, and a lot of joy and satisfaction. As they said in our weekend finance talk, "we're asking you to give of your substance." That we have done. Would we do it over? Of course, the answer is yes. We saw it as the Gospel call back in 1978 when the adoption Journey started, and we see it the same way today.

The Wright Family, 2005 Click for a larger image (JPG, 110KB)
The Wright Family, 2005
Standing, L to R - Paul & wife Susie holding Joon, Matt, Katie, Maria, Matt (Terri's husband), Mark and Pete. Kneeling L to R- Nancy, Suzi, Terri (holding Anna) and Nicolas on the run.

Click here for a printable version (PDF, 111KB)

 


Top of Page . Home . Table of Contents . FAQ . Copyright . Contact Us