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| Family - Weekend Effect Oregon Couple Makes an Anniversary Weekend in France Daniel & Suzanne Bissey The Marriage Encounter Weekend is Truly Universal We just discovered the universality of the M.E. Weekend in Blois in the Loire River Valley in France where all those beautiful Renaissance castles are. We, Daniel & Suzanne, just made a Vivre et Aimer (Marriage Encounter is called "To Live and to Love" in France) Weekend March 12-14 along with 20 other couples at the Foyer Notre Dame, retreat center near the Loire River. The site was ideal: no other groups, set far away from traffic, overlooking the Loire River in the distance, a lovely park adjacent for dialogue or break time and the basilica Notre Dame de la Trinite right next door.
But why, you might ask, would we want to make a Weekend in France? This was an anniversary Weekend for us. Our first weekend was in a retreat center in Southern Oregon in 1987. For Daniel, who is French, that Weekend was in a foreign language and in a foreign country for him. This time it was Suzanne’s turn: a Weekend in a country and a language not native to her. Friday night when we got to the Retreat Center, Suzanne was tired and grumpy and Daniel was hungry. What a relief it was to be welcomed by such warm and charming couples. It felt just like home. A couple helped us with our luggage and one of the husbands insisted on driving us to a café nearby where we could get a bite to eat quickly. We were immediately put at ease. When we returned to the Center most of the couples had arrived and were being welcomed by the community and teams and getting acquainted in the reception area. We signed in, got our name tags and soon it was time to go into the presenting room. As the Weekend began with the first talk I (Suzanne) had a serious moment of disappointment. I was convinced this was to be the "old" Weekend because we all had to give our spouse’s most endearing quality! I was terribly embarrassed and the feelings of irritation and embarrassment I had had at this point of our Weekend in 1987 all surged through me. In my reflection I shared that with Daniel. When Suzanne shared her reflection with me I (Daniel) shared that I had decided to suspend all judgment about the Weekend. I intended to experience it fully without making comparisons. Well, Saturday morning I (Suzanne) realized this is not the "old" Weekend, nor the current American Weekend, this is their Weekend suited to the French culture. And Saturday night we had the confidence to risk. It was worth it! We had committed to not coasting through this Weekend. Our dialogues were rich and we had our list of French feeling words handy. Winter in France has been glum but during the 90/90 when it was time to exchange our love letters, the sun came out to meet a blue sky and the church bells began ringing like when we were going out of the church on our wedding day. It was a sparkling moment. After sharing our letters we opened the prayer couple letter our dear friends from Oregon had sent with us to France. We truly felt loved and supported. And we had been told on Friday evening that one couple in particular was devoting this Weekend to praying for us. Wow! Wonder who it is? Wonder where they live? Wonder if we’ll see them at the Greet Off? We are supposing they have a Greet Off here. Yes, the Weekend is universal. The same beautiful growth occurs for the couples. It truly is a transformation. And the presence of the Community on Friday night, serving at meals, and coming into the room for the Greet Off is just like in the U.S. Their smiles are contagious. Their warmth and sincerity are obvious. It is beautiful to experience this love. Still we did notice some differences some subtle, others noticeable. We noticed that even if the couples were working very hard on their relationships, the atmosphere of the Weekend was overall very relaxed. One of the couples observed at one of the meal times what a sense of family atmosphere there was. One big difference we found to be really interesting and quite effective was the way the presenters often gave their sharings addressing their spouse. For us it seemed to give us couples a good model and made it very personal Our Vivre et Aimer Weekend was wonderful What a joy for me (Suzanne) to understand Daniel more completely by living the Weekend in his own language and country. What the French presenting teams shared corresponded so much to our experience as a couple. It was a revelation to me much like the effect of the personality test during Encounter with Self when we exchanged the results. It was that same kind of aha! when I learned that Daniel’s dominant personality style was that of a catalyst!
We are so grateful to the Team, like in the U.S. 3 couples and a priest each so very special. And like in the U.S. the primary mode of inviting is word of mouth. It seemed nearly every couple had heard about the Weekend through friends or family. Let’s continue to get the word out to all we know of the wonderful gift of a Marriage Encounter Weekend and for all of us who have experienced the Weekend let us continue the journey. Love from France,
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