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eMatrimony.org Supporting, Encouraging, and Challenging the WWME Community |
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| Love Letters - Readership Personality Styles Fr. Bob McDonald In the old days, when Marriage Encounter was young, we talked about our “Mask.” I didn’t understand it. I think it meant that we hide behind something good in ourselves, and do not share the real person we are. Our feelings are real. We hide them from ourselves, and we are afraid to share them even with our closest friend, our spouse. We fear that they will discover that part of us we do not like. So we remain distant, not letting our spouse know the real person we are. In these latter days, we talk about personality styles. In the first talk on Saturday morning, we try to learn about our own person. Our focus is to know ourselves, and come to believe in our own goodness, so that we can love ourselves, and then be able to love others, We take a self-test that helps us identify the kind of person we are. And we say that no matter what our style is, we are good persons. Just as we say that “Feelings are neither right nor wrong,” so we declare “Our personality style is neither right nor wrong.” Only our behavior can be wrong. When I took the test for the first time, I learned that I was a Helper It did not surprise me. I like to help people. That is truly a part of me. But something else dominates. I like to be free. I do not like to be classified, pinned down to rules and regulations, be told how to do things. I had done the test wrong. About the third time I did the test, the numbers changed radically: I am a Catalyst I like new things, change and surprises. I do not like to plan things in detail, but prefer to let things unfold, taking advantage of whatever happens. So I am learning how upsetting this can be to those who value order and organization, and thinking things out in detail. I am developing an appreciation for those who are Thinkers and Organizers, as well as Helpers. I am beginning to change my behavior because I am enjoying some of the benefits of other personality styles But I am changing my behavior because I want to be at peace, and grow closer to my people. You should see how organized my room and desk are becoming! Question For Dialogue: What change have I made in my behavior that brings me peace? What are my feelings about my answer? Happy dialogue! I love you, Click here for a printable version (PDF, 6KB)
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