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Holy Spirit Leads Us to Select New Leadership

Fr. Jim Galvin

Reprinted from the Spring, 1998 Matrimony Magazine

On the eve of my 73rd birthday, I find myself reflecting on the meaning of anniversaries. A prosaic observation is that they mark how many times some person or some institution has orbited the sun.

Some anniversaries are seen as more special than others, such as 25, 50 and 75 (and I am content that 73 is not one of those.) By comparison, centenaries and millennia are really awesome. We are already making preparations for ushering in the Third Millennium. In response to the prompting of our Holy Father, this Year of Our Lord, 1998 is dedicated to honoring the Third Person of the Holy Trinity, the Holy Spirit.

It seems altogether fitting that we spend some time talking about one of the ways that the Holy Spirit is present in Marriage Encounter. This month, we selected new national leadership - Lee & Jan Kremer and Fr. Gerry Bolduc, O.M.I. [Editor Note: Lee & Jan Kremer are currently serving with Fr. Richard O’Brien as the World Council leadership.]

A movement the size of Marriage Encounter could not survive long without leadership, yet it seems that the process of selecting leadership is not well understood or much talked about. For Americans used to a highly visible, loud, competitive system of free elections, this seems rather strange. By contrast, our selection process is a prayer filled, contemplative process.

From the beginning, the Marriage Encounter Movement in the U.S. has been selecting its leadership through a process known as "Discernment of the Spirit." We didn't invent this practice. We borrowed it from the Church, and in one form or another it is as old as the Church. The first known discernment in the church was led by Peter. The account is found in Acts 1:21-26.

Notice the elements of that Scriptural account:
1) There was a vacancy in the leader-ship team created by the death of one of the 12 Apostles originally appointed by Jesus; hence, a need to be met.
2) It was Peter, the leader designated by Jesus, who initiated and guided the process of discerning who was to fill that vacancy.
3) There were predetermined qualities to be sought in any candidate to be nominated for that office. Since the Apostles were to be the official witnesses of the resurrection of Jesus, the replacement would have to have been "one of those who was of our company while the Lord Jesus moved among us, from the day of the baptism of John until the day he was taken up from us"
4) They found two who met those qualifications, Barsabbas and Matthias.
5) They prayed for guidance: "0 Lord, you read the hearts of men. Make known to us which of these two you choose for this apostolic ministry. . .
6) They then drew lots, from which Matthias was selected.

We follow essentially these same basic principles and procedures in selecting our Marriage Encounter leadership, with minor adaptations. Some of these qualities derive from our "non-negotiables"

As an example, some Marriage Encounter leadership positions must be filled by an active presenting team. For couples, the non-negotiable conditions for being a presenting team are 1) the couple must both be confirmed Catholics, 2) they must be married in the Church and 3) they must believe in and practice daily dialogue. Other conditions may be added for leadership positions depending upon the level of leadership to be filled and upon local customs that prevail.

In selecting leadership, the first step is to assess and prioritize the needs of the Encounter at the appropriate Local, Section, Secretariat, or World Council level. The second step is to search out those couples and priests who are known to have some or all of those qualifications.

Appropriate passages of Sacred Scripture, such as the 12th chapter of Paul's letter to the Romans, are read aloud and reflected upon prayerfully. We are made aware that the Holy Spirit confers a combination of gifts upon everyone but not all pertain to leadership.

A third step is to nominate the couples and priests who seem to possess the needed gifts. The determination of who can nominate and how many nominations they can submit should be made prior to the beginning of the process.

Those who receive the required number of nominations are then instructed by the leadership team to enter the next step of the process. They are told what qualities others have seen in them, and what would be expected of them if selected i.e., in terms of time commitments, frequency of meetings to be chaired or attended, the term of office.

The nominees are asked to dialogue about this with members of their family, a close friend, business associate or anyone who might be impacted by their acceptance of the Marriage Encounter responsibility. Above all, they should consult their leaders. In those consultations they should be open to hearing not only how they seem to be suited to the new responsibility, but to learn what hazards, liabilities etc. they should be trying to minimize or eliminate from their customary behavior in order to maximize their effectiveness.

After the nominations have been made, and consultations have taken place, the nominees must face the ultimate questions: Are they open to serving at this time, or are they not?

Those who can answer "yes" then are given a specified time to share with other members the details of the process they have gone through, how widely they consulted and what they learned about themselves in those consultations.

They speak of the qualities that others have seen in them and the cautions that have been pointed out. They also speak of how they would see themselves addressing the needs that had surfaced in the very first step of this process.

-After all the candidates have been heard, there is a period of prayer followed by the casting of ballots. The voters place not only the name of the candidate of their choice, but the gifts or qualities that they see in the candidate. A 70% consensus is required for a candidate to be selected into office. If a round of balloting does not provide a 70% consensus additional prayer and/or information about the candidates is discussed and additional rounds of balloting are conducted.

Without specifying raw numbers, the ballot counters may give some general notion as to the direction the voters seem to be favoring, until finally a "consensus" of 70% or better is achieved. At that point the new leadership is announced. If any "hold outs" in the process are unable to follow the new leadership, it is expected that they would seek healing in their differences or resign as Weekend presenting teams.

This selection process differs greatly from an election. A true discernment presupposes a lively faith that divine guidance is available to those who ask for it. This is especially true in matters that pertain to our discovering and following God’s plan for us as couples and priests and as His instruments as “apostles” for holy marriages.

The preparation that normally takes place in an election often involves, a heavy degree, of elements of "Politicking." In a true discernment process, the human influences that might affect the balloting are conscientiously avoided. In an election, one candidate wins; the others all lose.

In a discernment process, everyone comes off as a winner, for everyone is affirmed in a very prayerfully considered and sincere manner.

Perhaps the most important difference between an election and a discernment process is that the former consists in a determination made by those who vote, while the discernment consists in a prayerful listening to learn what the Spirit has determined for us.

We are a movement proclaiming a radical lifestyle. It is appropriate that our leadership selection process should also be radically different.

We are attempting to imitate and learn from the saints rather than from contemporary politicians. Several of the saints, particularly in the past three or four hundred years, were notable for their ability to discern which promptings came from the Holy Spirit and which did not. Notable among such saints were St. Vincent de Paul and his friend and contemporary, St. Francis de Sales.

As we focus our attention more care-fully on the Holy Spirit we become more keenly aware of the "fruits" of charity, joy, peace, patience, and meekness in both leaders and followers. Our selection process is an aid as we pursue in unity the "impossible dream."

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