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  News - International

Outreach To Pakistan

Alex & Maureen Harding, Asian Secretariat Team

(Excerpted from 1st Quarter 1992 Matrimony magazine)

There's a New World Some where in Pakistan . . and they're singing our song!

The Asian Coordinating couple, Peter & Cecilia Wong, had a dream about bringing the M.E. Weekend to Pakistan. It was only a dream until the World Council approved of their desired outreach and the United States backed it up with funds. Peter & Cecilia Wong wrote to us in Selangor, Malaysia and to all of Asia. Wonderful couples from all over Malaysia responded to that letter of appeal, as had the couples in Korea and Sri Lanka. Then Alex and I received a phone call from Peter & Cecilia asking us to go.

There were 1001 reasons why we couldn't go with Peter & Cecilia and Father Dave, the Asian coordinating priest. We realized that God only needs our willingness and trust, our "Yes Lord." and He takes care of the rest. We believed in the dream and we went for it. There were generous offers of baby sitting, house-sitting, pet and plant care and offers to cook and to tend to the laundry from many beautiful dreamers. We knew there was no turning back.

The night before we left, members of our Community in Selangor came over to give us their support with prayer. It was the most beautiful send-off. We experienced again the gentle touch of the Lord, blessing us, telling us he was in control.

On board the plane, there was only joyful excitement as we joined Peter & Cecilia. We were stepping into the unknown and there was a spirit of adventure and expectancy in our hearts.

Arriving in Pakistan, we entered into an entirely new world steeped in customs and a culture all its own. Crowds of people were everywhere. We were fascinated by the colorful costumes that adorned some women, in stark contrast to the dark somber robes that shrouded others from head to foot.

Buses appeared, bright and ornate, seemingly dressed for a festival. And then the mini-buses, the "Yellow Devils", equally as debonair, swaggering and racing and "wolf-calling" their way, in and out of the wary motorists, scaring the daylights out of people. What a lasting impression of Pakistan. Vehicles everywhere, with everyone seeming to have the right of way, everyone taking chances and risks. We found ourselves closing our eyes tightly and leaving the rest to God as all five of us had to hang on for dear life. During a one-night stop-over at Karachi, we were hosted by the Dominicans and then it was off to Multan, where we were scheduled to present two weekends upon the invitation of Bishop Petras Yusof.

At Multan we were the personal guests of the Bishop himself, sleeping in rooms above the Church. A "live" alarm clock, the Bishop's donkey, woke us up at any hour from 3:00 to 6:00 AM (The first night, Alex thought it was Peter snoring loudly).

We had never met anyone like the Bishop. He was quietly disarming with his warm smile and eyes that smiled also. He was unassuming and humble and yet so obviously in control of every situation that presented itself.

His house was no ordinary house. It was nestled in acres of land that sprouted a blaze of roses, petunias, daisies and a host of other flowers, together with vegetables - onions, garlic, cabbages. It was more like a half-way house for any weary traveler passing through, whether it be a visiting priest, seminarian, lay missionary, visitor from overseas, friend. Anyone was welcome, and it was here that we saw a beautiful respect and love displayed by Bishop Petras and his trusted legal adviser Shah-ji (a Muslim). In the few days we stayed here, we never really knew "who was coming to dinner." At one time the table sat at least 30 people from all walks of life, even from as far as Holland.

We never tired of listening to this amazing man as he shared with us his dreams and vision for his people, to alleviate their poverty and make them self-sufficient. We saw this dream made tangible in the tube wells he had put in for his people living in the desert. The rice and other vegetables we saw growing there were a living testimony to how he helped his people. There were facilities being built in the cities for the poor to be housed when they came to further their education there. Truly, Bishop Petras is a man of the people.

We understood then why it was Multan - the least likely of places, not the sophisticated-and advanced Lahore or Karachi - that would give birth to Marriage Encounter in Pakistan. Like the Bishop himself, humble and unassuming, Multan was chosen. We could sense the hand of the Lord in all of this.

Language proved to be a barrier and the two weekends there were tough. The culture of the people and their simple ways of life created problems regarding the discipline of the Weekend. Some brought their children with them. The group had never sat through such long 'soul searching' sessions, so they tended to stretch their tea-breaks. Since they were used to sleeping early in the night, our late sessions were difficult for them to take. In their culture, no one fell in love before marriage since all marriages were arranged. No wonder our ‘romance before marriage' astounded them. They thought it was the best thing since Gone with the Wind. How did we cope, considering all we encountered? We learned that we needed flexibility and ingenuity and an open line to the Lord for guidance. We asked, "Help Lord! What do we do now?" And we were never disappointed.

On the first weekend we had to simplify our talks as we went along adapting them to the couples' level of comprehension. On the second weekend we had an official translator, Father Darshan, who was the picture of Groucho Marx. While translating he tried to act the part as well, adding in his own little anecdotes to drive a point home, rolling his big round eyes our way to get our approval. We baby-sat while couples dialogued and it was a common sight to see one of us crooning a baby to sleep, or talking to another in a foreign tongue which was somehow appreciated because it was the language of love. Despite the translating and variety of Challenges we managed to fit everything in.

The second weekend had other problems all its own. It was held in desert country. The talks were presented in Harding Hall (we are not joking), a humble facility at a church that served a cluster of villages. There were a few rooms where the couples dialogued. Flies formed the pattern on the tablecloth and electricity chose to come on and off at its whim. We lived in the Convent which was quite a distance from the hall. When there was no water, we had to use an old fashioned hand-pump to coax water into a pail for our bath.

Despite the obstacles, love surmounted them, and our spirits never lagged. There seemed to be a buoyancy and humor in us that took us through the most trying of moments . . . like getting used to a Pakistani rope-bed without having the bed fold up on us every time we turned or tried to get amorous.

Perhaps the most wonderful experience for us was seeing the Body of Christ alive in a predominantly Muslim country and witnessing the miracle of the Weekend in this most unlikely of places.

It brought us back to the basics. Any weekend is special. It doesn't have to be held in the grandest of places. Jesus chose to be born in Bethlehem in a stable, so how were we to question, "Why Multan, not Lahore or Karachi?"

We realized the basic ingredients for a weekend are couples responding to the invitation to make something greater of their marriages, couples caring to invite them, and couples who are willing to share their lives. We realized marriages are the same everywhere. No matter what the color, race, or creed, everyone hungers for that spark in their relationship.

We realized what is necessary for an outreach is someone who dares to dream, and someone brave enough to turn that impossible dream into a reality. A dreamer is a visionary armed with the breastplate of faith and carrying a heart full of love. Peter & Cecilia fit that bill and we shared their dream with Father Dave. We sowed love and others will nurture the seeds to life. And that valiant band of couples we left behind will keep the dream alive.

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