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Tribute to Bob Tabone

Ron & Judy Pekny < >

We have always liked to think of Marriage Encounter as a movement of saints in the making. After all, saints work hard at conforming their will to God’s – and isn’t that exactly what we do when we make those daily decisions to love each other and put our relationship first – allowing God’s Desire for Marriage to become our own?

Well, we believe our Heavenly Father completed His work in one of our very own saints, Bob Tabone, on March 2, 2003. That’s when He called Bob home to heaven – and left the rest of us wondering, “How can this be?” Bob and Huli served with Fr. Mark Willenbring as the National Secretariat Team for Worldwide Marriage Encounter. They coordinated WWME across the United States and proudly represented our U.S. Secretariat as part of the World Council.

They wouldn’t have seemed likely candidates for that during the first 20 years of their marriage. Bob was a truly brilliant man, incredibly successful, with 4 terrific kids – and a wonderful wife, Huli, who only wanted one gift for their 20th wedding anniversary – to go on a Marriage Encounter weekend. The weekend truly did change their lives. Bob not only fell in love with his Huli all over again, he fell in love with our Church, and returned to the sacraments. Bob and Huli heard God calling – and they said “yes”.

But still, they seemed so quiet and shy when we first met them, not too long after their weekend, determined to rebuild Marriage Encounter in Corpus Christi. They asked how they could put on a weekend down there - and we told them to get 20 couples and a priest. And so they did – again - and again - and again – until WWME was reborn in their area. They said “yes” to the challenge of becoming Area Coordinators, even though they were still so new to the Encounter, because they couldn’t bear the thought that the dream might die again. But Corpus Christi thrived – and so did Bob and Huli.

A few years later they once again said “yes” to God’s call – this time to serve as Section Coordinators for Texas, Oklahoma and New Mexico (Section 10). Along that journey, their priorities began to change. In his 40’s, Bob decided to retire from a job he loved – and that loved him – so that he could stay home and spend more time with his beloved Huli.

But their staying home time didn’t quite turn out like they planned, for God was once again beckoning them – to serve as National Leadership. This time they really hesitated, sure that there were far too young in the movement to lead it and that many more experienced couples had greater wisdom than they did. But Bob and Huli really believed in servant leadership and so once again they said “yes”.

They have served our movement and our Church with such vision and gentleness and they have offered the gift of their presence all over this country – even when Bob was almost bedridden earlier in the year with severe, debilitating back pain. He couldn’t sit up without pain, and couldn’t even climb the stairs in their two story house in Corpus. So whenever Huli went upstairs, Bob would sing to her over the house intercom. He shared that over those weeks, he had never loved his Huli more than he did right then.

Our last conversation with him was by speaker phone. We were in a meeting in southern Illinois – a meeting they had desperately wanted to attend. Since they couldn’t be there in person, they shared their wisdom with us all day over the phone. It was a remarkable day, with joys, tears, laughter, and even Bob snoring a little on the phone. When we hung up at 11 PM, all of us were aglow, since it had been such a wonderful, enriching day.

Then, at 1:00 in the morning, Huli called and said that she had just taken Bob to the hospital and they thought he had an aneurysm. By 9:00 AM, she told us that Bob had had a severe stroke, and the doctor didn’t give him much time. At 11 PM, almost 24 hours from when we hung up the phone, Bob was called home to heaven.

Never have we met somebody who was as passionate about our beloved movement as Bob Tabone. And we can still hear the passion in his voice as he zealously proclaimed how important it was that we all recognize that we are not just a volunteer army, but are being called by God to revitalize the sacraments of Matrimony and Holy Orders – and that is how we will Renew our Church and Change the World.

And Huli! Even in her sorrow, she is grace personified and one of the most truly remarkable people we have ever met. She still continues to lead our movement, along with Fr. Mark, until the discernment for new national leadership takes place in August. We know Bob is walking by her side and we know he lives in her heart – and in our hearts – and in the hearts of people everywhere who experienced their love.

If you never met Bob and Huli Tabone, you missed an opportunity to be touched by God’s grace, through their wisdom, their gentleness, their perseverance, their sense of humor, and most of all, their passionate love for each other, our weekend, and our Church. The values we talk about in Marriage Encounter are truly the values he lived by. Bob and Huli Tabone really are our heroes and the wind beneath our wings.

We hope that sharing our memories have given you the opportunity to know one of the saints of our movement. And so we ask that you hold each other just a little bit closer today, in memory of Bob; pick up those dialogue books today, in memory of Bob; offer the gift of the weekend to a couple or priest today, in memory of Bob. And never stop listening to that still small voice inside you – it may be God calling YOU to change your little corner of the world.

Written with love by
Ron & Judy Pekny

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