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Love Is International: From An Embrace, A Dream Is Born

Fr. Donald MacInnis, M.M.

(Excerpted from Spring 1990 Matrimony magazine)

“Only when families are in solidarity will the enormous and dramatic issues of world justice, the freedom of peoples, and the peace of humanity be dealt with and solved.” (Pope John Paul II's Apostolic Exhortation, “On the Family”).

This and other passages in the Holy Father's Pastoral Letter on the family speak the experience of Japanese and Korean couples who recently joined hands to arrange for a Korean language Marriage Encounter Weekend to be put on in Yokohama, Japan, for Koreans residing in Japan.

The relationships between the Japanese and Koreans have frequently been strained during the past several hundred years. In recent times, Japan began a 34 year occupation of Korea in 1911, ending only when the Japanese were defeated in 1945. During the time of the Japanese occupation, Koreans were not allowed to speak their own language or to sing certain songs. Koreans were often treated harshly and with discrimination by the occupying administrators and forces.

During the Second World War, Korean men were forced to serve in the Japanese Army. Other Koreans were forced to move to Japan to work at occupations designated by the Japanese. Even today, when a child is born in Japan of Korean parents, he or she is considered a foreigner and is required to register as an alien and be fingerprinted. Only in 1965 was the relationship between the two countries officially “normalized”. In spite of the “normalization”, the feelings of many Koreans remained unaffected by official pronouncements.

Akira & Kideko Tanaka, from the ancient city of Kamakura, located south of Yokohama, began to feel solidarity with Korean Marriage Encounter couples in Korea when they came to Seoul in November of 1976 to experience an International Team Training weekend. They arrived in Korea with a lot of apprehension concerning the sort of atmosphere that would prevail during the training weekend. They were the only couple from Japan. Together with five Korean couples, there were couples and priests from Okinawa, Guam, Taiwan and the foreign community in Seoul. Missionary priests from Ireland, Australia, and the U.S.A., were also participating.

Just before the closing of the weekend, Akira Tanaka stood up and very emotionally expressed the many feelings that he had been containing about the weekend experience and about his apprehensiveness about how he would be accepted. Immediately following his moving sharing of himself, a Korean, Park Hee Dong, stood up and expressed the feelings of appreciation toward Akira. Then, in a move that symbolized, for all who were present, the reconciliation of the two countries, Japan and Korea, Hee Dong and Akira embraced. The atmosphere of the conference room was charged with deep emotion.

The Tanakas and other Japanese couples have since visited Korea for Marriage Encounter of CHOICE program activities on a number of occasions. Korean couples and priests have visited Japan on several occasions for the same activities.

When Father Kim In Seong, a Korean priest who is pastor of a Korean parish in Japan, took some initiative to invite a priest and three couples to come from Korea to Japan to lead an encounter weekend, he found the Japanese M.E. community very ready and willing to help. Akira & Kideko Tanaka wrote the following description of the weekend in a letter to me. As a former executive priest for Marriage Encounter in Korea they knew I wanted to hear all about the weekend.

Dear Father Don,

The weekend took place on February 10-12, 1989, at the Catholic Center in Yokohama. Seventeen couples attended and the three team couples and one priest were from Korea. Six Japanese families were babysitters and six couples were the weekend community.

Three Korean couples who had been encountered in Korea helped us. These three were the key members who ironed out all the small details that make a weekend a great success.

On Friday evening the baby-sitting couples came to the Center to pick up the children from the parents. Some children were excited to go with the families, while some looked worried and almost in tears. We had managed to get a standby doctor throughout the weekend in case of any emergencies. Fortunately we did not require his service!

We had about 50 Japanese couples who took turns preparing five meals, doing the dishes, bed-making, etc. We were all filled with joy just to be part of the weekend. During the weekend, time was allocated to each area; Kyushu, Osaka, Nagoya, and Tokyo; so that the chain of prayer continued during the weekend.

Sunday evening each encountered couple was presented with a red rose from the Japanese couple. The reunion of the children with their parents was very touching. You can see from some of the photos the love that flows from every face. No one wanted to leave. The entrance hall was filled with excitement and tears of joy, and from nowhere we all started singing. We have experienced that HE was there with us rejoicing and savoring the moment. We often vividly recall that moment and so many times we have thought of you.

After the weekend they had their first reunion on March 4th. A couple and the priest came from Korea again. On March 16th we had a Mass to thank God for giving us the opportunity to get together. About 80 people were present.

Some baby-sitting couples are visiting each other after the weekend. This is what we have always dreamed of...an exchange of friendship. God had His plan for us and the time has come. Do you remember when we first met; we talked about the day when the Koreans in Japan will be visiting the Japanese families? We are overwhelmed to see these couples visiting each other in their homes!

Plans are now underway to have a joint picnic in June. Wonderful things are really happening.

Lots of love and prayers to you.
Akira & Isabel

Let me conclude with another passage from the Holy Father's ON THE FAMILY, which could have been written especially with these Korean/Japanese couples in mind:

“The spiritual communion between Christian families, rooted in common faith and hope and given life by love, constitutes an inner energy that generates, spreads and develops justice, reconciliation, fraternity, and peace among human beings”.

Click here for a printable version (PDF, 13KB)