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Eskimo Couples - Between The Spear And The Bottle!

Jerry & Petie Strang and Fr. Frank Fallart, S.J.

(Excerpted from Fall 1989 Matrimony magazine)

His statement was a simple one, "My people need the weekend because we are halfway between the spear and the bottle!”

Petie & I heard those words spoken eight years ago in 1981 as we listened to an Eskimo couple plead for Bush weekends. Those same words echoed in my mind as we boarded a commercial airline one Friday morning in August, 1982, for Toksook Bay, located on Nelson Island on the west coast of Alaska. After a layover in Bethel we departed on a twin otter, a small twin engine plane, to travel the last 120 miles to the short gravel airstrip in Toksook.

Father Frank Fallart, our Jesuit team priest, traveled with us. Father Frank had previously been stationed in Toksook for 10 years. As we walked down the dirt streets of the small village of 400 people, it became readily apparent that we were walking with a real Pied Piper! The people came out of nowhere to say hello to Father Frank; especially the children. What struck us immediately was the love in their faces. They seemed such an open loving people.

We walked to the high school where we organized the final preparations for the weekend and the couples. The high school, a larger version of the old one room country school house, would be the weekend facility. The school was divided into cubicles for classrooms with room dividers. We used these dividers and sections of large cardboard boxes to convert the space into sleeping and dialogue areas for the couples.

Then we headed to George & Julia Nevak's home for dinner before the weekend began. They were one of our first Eskimo team couples. They live in a small wood frame house with their 9 children. We laughed and joked with all of them as we shared our meal of fresh caught halibut.

The Weekend Begins

We received our first surprise when Father Frank announced that the village had been without a priest for 3 weeks and the weekend Masses would not be for our couples alone but would include the whole village. He sent the children out to spread the word of a Mass at 5:00 PM. Thus our weekend began with a village Mass at St. Peter the Fisherman Church. The church was packed. We even had seven Eskimo Deacons assisting Father serve Mass. What a powerful beginning for our first weekend!

As the weekend started we had a sense of apprehension, wondering how these people, some of whom spoke little or no English, would relate to our stories. Yupik is their native language. We placed our faith in the Holy Spirit and it went well. Some of the concepts had to be translated by the villagers to those who trouble with English. It seemed to work. At first the discipline was ignored as the couples wanted to gather and socialize. George & Julia solved this with a little "straight talk" in Yupik!

By Sunday afternoon the couples were openly sharing how their love had blossomed and been renewed. Sometimes they spoke in Yupik, which we couldn't understand, but there was no mistaking their feelings and their obvious love evidenced through tears. One husband, sitting on the floor in the back of the room, kept his arm around his wife until he saw someone looking. Then he pulled it away, only to put it back again when it seemed safe.

During the financial talk our voices cracked with emotion, realizing we were experiencing a dream come true. When we first used the word "family", our tears came. They came again later as the couples gave from the very little they have. One of the young husbands who had a band told us after Mass that he would hold a dance for the village teenagers and bring us the proceeds as his contribution. After the dance, he came to where we were staying and proudly counted out the proceeds from his efforts: $43.47. We were deeply touched.

The weekend ended with another Mass for the whole village. Again the Deacons came and the church was full. The weekend couples sat in the front rows. Father Frank asked these couples to renew their vows and it was very powerful. However, he then asked all the old couples in the church to renew their vows. He had one of the Deacons lead them in their native language of Yupik.

At the end of the weekend we were emotional basket cases! There had been so many wonderful experiences on this Bush weekend in a totally new and different culture. Our love and the unity of our Church provided the common ground, just as it does all over the world.

On Monday morning, as the plane rolled down the gravel strip and circled the village to head for home, we waved with tears in our eyes to those weekend couples. They had walked up the hill to see us off. We left part of ourselves there in that village with those loving people. Little did we know then that we would be returning!

The Dream Grows

It was two years later; again in August. Charlie & Cathy Moses, a couple on the first Toksook weekend, had agreed to be a team couple, and after giving weekends in Anchorage, they, and George & Julia recruited a second weekend in Toksook. This time we were flown there by private carrier. Tom Gittens and his wife Rita had made the weekend in 1979 and listened as the team shared their dream of a Bush weekend. Tom promised, "If you'll go to the villages, I'll fly you there!" Because of their generosity, five village weekends have been held.

As we walked through the village this second time, Jerry and I smelled the fish drying on the racks. I recalled our previous visit and how offensive I found the smell. However, I also remembered that after 2 or 3 hours, you no longer noticed it. I remembered the village children proudly showing us "their whale". The previous winter the village had killed a whale and the carcass was still on the beach. The smell of the whale didn't seem to phase the children. Now it was another fish drying season. Snow machines were pulled off alongside the houses and the three-wheelers were in action. On this summer afternoon, the fog was rolling in from the Bering Sea. Its mist reminded me of San Francisco and I smiled inwardly at the difference between the two coastal settlements.

The Nevaks and Moses had everything ready. The "conference room" was in the same place, off to one side of the large "schoolroom" building. The cubicles were again in place for the couples. This time Jerry and I were blessed with privacy. Charlie and Cathy decided we should have the audiovisual equipment room, and Charlie had even brought mattresses for us; such luxury for our sleeping bags!

All the cooking was done by the previously encountered couples. They had donated their salmon, halibut, pilot bread, peanut butter and jam. We had taken large boxes of fruit and fresh eggs, as our contribution. It was our first exposure to goose soup and herring eggs on kelp. The Eskimos enjoy this the way we enjoy popcorn. They told us we would have less difficulty eating it if we dipped it in seal oil. They laughed when they realized the oil made it no better for our "gusak" tastes. We also brought nectarines and had the privilege of introducing many to this fruit. Some had eaten oranges and apples but never a nectarine.

The closing Sunday Mass was again held for the whole village in St. Peter the Fisherman Church. I was particularly moved by the singing. Here I was, a cradle Catholic, hearing the melody of the ancient hymn "Tantum Ergo" sung in the guttural language of Yupik, in an Eskimo village of the Bering Sea. It set off feelings in me that I cannot fully describe. I felt a deep emotional love for the universality of our Catholic Church. I was so filled with emotion that the tears burst forth. I couldn't believe how blessed I was: I was reared a Catholic, Jerry converted to Catholicism, we made our Marriage Encounter weekend, and now here we were in Toksook Bay experiencing the oneness of our Church! With God, all things are possible.

More To The Story

Allow me now to pick up the story. Ten years ago, I, Father Fallart, invited George & Julia Nevak to make a Marriage Encounter weekend, being held in Anchorage. I was quite surprised at the time by Julia's reaction. Although she hardly knew what the weekend was about she was very eager to go. Years later the truth came out. What Julia was eager for was to see the bright lights of Anchorage for the first time in her life!

However, Julia has certainly made up in dedication for what she lacked in perfect motivation ten years ago. She and George have been team on weekends at St. Mary's in 1979 and 1980, in Tununak in 1980, in Alakanuk, Nome, and Kaltan in 1981, at Toksook Bay in l982, again at St. Mary's in 1984, again at Toksook Bay in 1987 and in Newtok in 1989. They have also given weekends in Bethel, Anchorage, and Wasilla. From the Bush Villages, a total of 130 couples are now encountered.

But this isn't why they are smiling in the picture you see of them here. They are smiling because after ten years as a team couple, in March, 1989, they were joined by Charlie & Cathy Moses and Joe & Pauline Asuluk to become the first ALL YUPIK TEAM. The weekend was held in the village of Newtok and 13 couples were encountered.

Couples usually travel by snow machine from several villages to attend the weekend in the village where it is being given. In addition to the Eskimo couples encountered, there are six sisters, five priests, and one bishop who have made the Bush weekends!

Many involved in parish work among the Eskimos predicted failure for Marriage Encounter in the Bush villages because "Eskimos do not share that openly!" We have news for them. Yupik sharing is "EVERY BIT AS OPEN AND AS GOOD" as the sharing we have witnessed in Anchorage and elsewhere.

With so many couples encountered on Nelson Island there is good participation in sharing evenings or love circles. On the last two sharing nights held in Toksook we had eleven couples the first time and twelve the second; not perfect, but where is it so? Come winter, when travel by snow machine is again easier, we look forward to inter-village sharing evenings.

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