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| Resources - Miscellaneous "Who Do You Say I Am?" Chuck & Lenore Barresi (Excerpted from 1982 September-October Worldwide Family Spirit magazine) Not too long ago we attended a mini-series on prayer at our parish. Our reason for attending, as it was for the others there, was to learn more about prayer and to grow in our relationship with God. Some of the presentations were new to us and other parts of it were things that we had heard before but were stated in ways we had not considered. It proved to us once again that we must always take advantage of what is offered in order to grow closer to God. Since this series of articles is based on our personal spiritual journey, we thought it would be helpful to share with you some of the ideas that were most important to us. We are deeply grateful to Father Joe Fortuna, the leader of the mini-series, for many of the ideas presented here and for providing us and others with the opportunity to grow. We have often heard our relationship with God described in terms of a personal relationship. In fact, the major or primary way we see or describe God is as a person. We identify the person like aspects of God and relate to these in prayer. For example, God is pleased with us, or He is angry, or He can be persuaded as when Abraham interceded for Sodom. (Genesis 19:1.6-32) Here we find Abraham bargaining with God regarding His killing the innocent with the guilty. Clearly, we find the personal analogy of God demonstrated here. God however, can be related to in other forms as well. We can relate to Him as spirit, or in nature, or in others. He can take many forms and we can relate to Him in these forms because He has given us the ability to know and love Him. (1 Cor. 3:13-16) We know these things because they have been taught to us by the Spirit of God. However, while we can relate to Him in different forms, the most common analogy we use to relate to God is as person. Relating to God as person is at the same time filled with both promise and problems. On the one hand this analogy makes God very accessible and familiar to us. On the other it creates situations which allow us to attribute motives and responses to Him which are extensions of our own limited, human responses. Relating to God as human can create problems. We do not see Him as we do others whom we relate to in human form. We do not hear Him as we do others in human form. Another problem arises when we use our fallible human relationships as an analogy for our relationship with God. For example, God is often referred to as our loving Father; however some people have had fathers who were not loving and thus they envision God as vengeful, mean or a hard taskmaster. In short, the analogy of relating to God in human form is sometimes limited and creates special problems for us All things considered, however, the analogy of relating to God as person is a good one since it allows us to relate to Him in ways which are familiar and comfortable to us. We often hear people referring to a "personal relationship with Jesus". What are they saying? They are describing the way in which their analogy of God allows them to enter into relationship with Him. Chuck: When I think of a personal relationship with Jesus I imagine him as the carpenter of Galilee. I see him in workingman's clothes, jeans and plaid shirt, and with rough calloused hands. He is gentle, concerned and attentive, always warm and smiling. I feel comfortable and at ease in his presence. I talk to him and he responds in very general but very supportive ways. He is very much like a guidance counselor or therapist who does not come right out and tell me what to do, but rather, gently leads me to find directions and answers in Scripture and in my own previous knowledge of Him. Some people talk about how God responds to them with very specific responses. His responses to me are much more general and seem to leave out a lot of the details, but the message is basic and direct He assures me of His love. He urges me to do my best. He acknowledges my good intentions despite my failures. I see God as patient and loving. I see the problem in our relationship as coming from my limitations, not His. I see Him as a kind, loving parent always willing to accept me, to forgive me and to give me the opportunity to start over again. Lenore: Although there are many times when I see God as the Creator of the Universe and in the beauty of nature around me, I more often think of Him as my personal, loving Father, the One who watches over me and loves me. Probably because I come from a family of two daughters, I see Jesus as the brother I never had. He is the one who I can talk to and confide in. I believe that Jesus knows me better than Chuck does. He knows my dreams and my fears, my successes and failures. I can turn to him in all things and trust him to lead me, to help me. He is with me always and is warm and understanding. However, when necessary he corrects me, usually through Scripture. It is difficult for me to change my ways or to admit that I am wrong in many things, but I believe that since I have become more aware of him and his presence with me I have changed and can more easily admit when I am wrong. His presence gives me an inner peace and confidence in myself that I did not have before I started to relate to him as my personal Savior and brother. Chuck: What is your relationship with God? Don't say you don't have one, because if you know Him at all you have a relationship with Him. It may be a passing or fleeting one, it may be deep and extensive or somewhere in between. Wherever it is, as we have said before, it can be better. How we see God or what analogy we use can help us to better understand and deepen our personal relationship with Him. When we use the human analogy as we and many others do, we can use insights we have gained into our own self and our relationships with others to understand our relationship with God. What are the personal characteristics that emerge when you relate to others? Are you patient or impatient? Altruistic or self-centered? Trusting or fearful? What kind of effort do you put into your relationships with others? Do you give of yourself or do you hold back? Do you persevere in the face of rejection or indifference or do you withdraw at the first sign of non-response? Do you expect immediate gratification or are you willing to wait until the other person is ready to respond no matter how long it takes? Are you willing to take "no" for an answer or do things always have to be your way? These and many other questions, honestly answered, can lead us to a better understanding of our relationship with God. Lenore: I like to think of myself as a trusting person and yet I know that deep down inside I don't want to "let go", I don't want to turn any task or project I may have over to someone else for fear it might not get done the way I think it should be done. I trust Chuck to provide for our future and yet many times I catch myself worrying about it. I tell our children that I trust them, but when they are at a concert or party or with friends I don't exactly approve of, I cannot help but think of all the things that could happen to them or the trouble they could get into. I can see where this same characteristic holds true in my relationship with God. I tell Him daily that I turn my life over to Him, but inside I am afraid that what He wants for me may not be what I want! It is like holding my life out to Him on the end of a stick and always pulling it back just as He is reaching for it. Our prayer life is based on our relationship with God. If our relationship is good, our prayer life is good and vice versa. What makes our relationship with others better will make our relationship with God better. Likewise, what blocks our relationship with others will block our relationship with God. Most of all, our expectations in our human relationships are very important in our relationship with God. If we are satisfied with where we are rather than seeking more, then our relationship will come to a standstill and even deteriorate. If we expect more and give more, growth will surely come. (Matthew 7:7 -17) Jesus calls us to seek and assures us that we will be rewarded by our heavenly Father! As in our human relationships, our relationship with God is constantly changing. We are either growing or we are slipping back. There are times, however, when we experience dry periods and it does not seem to us that we are growing or slipping. We seem to be stuck on dead center. Sometimes this can be a period of preparation for a new direction in our prayer life God may be calling us to a new and different form of prayer, one filled with more insight and reward than before. We must be open to the Holy Spirit and to His leadings. We must step out in faith and trust in God! Suggested Scripture Passages: Philippians 2:6-8 Suggested Books: With Open Hands - Henri J.M. Nouwen (Ave Maria Press)
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