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How to Prepare a Question/Open Sharing Share Group Presentation

Jack & Karen Baker

The big difference between a Question/Open Sharing Share Group and a Presentation Share Group is instead of one couple preparing a ten to twenty minute presentation the facilitating couple chooses sharing questions and a dialogue question to fit a topic. The topic can be from a book or a series the Share Group have chosen. Some people are intimidated with the idea of writing a ten to twenty minute presentation and have the belief that only especially talented people can create such a presentation. With the Question/Open Sharing model almost anyone can pick questions to discuss to further develop a topic.

QUESTION/OPEN SHARING SHARE GROUP FORMAT

PREPARATION:

Facilitators review the topic and choose two to five discussion questions. The topic can be one of interest to the Sharing Group – money, disciplining children, growing old together, aging parents, sex, community or any of several others. A favorite poem, prose, prayer or Bible verse can be the topic of discussion. Or the Group selects a book to read together and between each meeting either a chapter or a set number of pages are agreed upon as the topic for the next meeting. The facilitators would then develop their questions from the reading material. Several books are written with discussion topics already included. Gary Chapman’s book The Five Love Languages includes a Study Guide for Spouse and Group Discussion by James S Bell, Jr. in the back of the book. An old favorite by John Gray, Ph.D.; Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus has several paragraph headings that are questions. Weeds Among the Wheat Discernment: Where Prayer & Action Meet by Thomas H. Green, S.J. has a list of questions at the end of each chapter called Practicum Question. Lenten or Advent literature have several reflections or questions that could be used for open sharing questions. The New International Version Couples Devotional Bible includes topics referred to as Marriage Builders that could be used as open sharing questions. The possibilities are only limited by your imagination. Libraries and the web site are filled with possibilities. Don’t forget the Worldwide Marriage Encounter online resources eMatrimony.org and the Electronic Resource Library, erl.wwme.org.

FORMING A SHARE GROUP:

Commitment is the key to a strong Sharing Group. The group should agree to the following:

- How often do they want to meet? (Twice a month, once every three weeks, etc.)
- How much time should be reserved for each meeting (Two hours, with or without snacks, longer meeting with a pot luck meal?).
- Time of day to meet (Two to three hours mid-week, on a weekend either mid-day or evening?).
- Children or no children (Having child care can make meetings affordable for some couples who could not otherwise be able to attend, some prefer to call their Share Group a couples-night-out and be free of the noise and distraction children can create).
- To be a Worldwide Marriage Encounter Share Group EVERY meeting must include a dialogue.
- Where do you want to meet? (A church or meeting room? In homes - the same house every time, the same house for three months and then rotate to another home, or rotate every meeting?)
- How many meetings does the group want to commit to (six to ten meetings is typical followed by a non-structured gathering such as a dinner out or family fun time). Following the number of meetings agreed upon the group can reevaluate if they want to continue for another set of meetings, split into smaller groups or open up to more couples and/or priest or religious.
- Do you want to consider doing a reach out as a group (Adopt a family at Christmas, serve a meal at a homeless shelter, offer to help at a church for what ever is needed, host coffee & snacks after the masses at your parish).
- The meeting format (Typically Prayer, check-in, open sharing questions, dialogue, dialogue discussion and snacks.
- Establish your calendar so everyone can prioritize their time to attend. Agree to assignments who will facilitate, who will host, who will do the prayer, who will bring snacks.

MEETING FORMAT

START ON TIME AND AGREE TO END ON TIME – If people arrive late let them join in when they arrive but agree that late comers will slip into the meetings without interruption. If people want to linger after the end time that is great but allowing those who need to leave on time to go is important and the meetings should end on time.

BEGIN WITH PRAYER – One couple can begin the meetings either with a scripture reading, favorite prayer, or with a prayer from the heart.

CHECK IN – It is nice to hear how each couple is doing in their personal lives. This must be brief or it can consume the whole evening. If you have someone who tends to ramble we suggest an egg or game timer be past to the speakers so each knows when their time is up. The check-in time could include a prayer request so the Share Group can be praying for each other between meetings.

OPEN SHARING – Sharing Guidelines must be adhered to. Sharing is not a time to “fix” someone, confidentiality and acceptance is key to WWME sharing. KEEP AND REFER TO SHARING GUIDELINES AS NEEDED. The facilitators read their prepared question and either the sharing proceeds around the room (clockwise or counter-clockwise) with an understanding people can pass if they are not ready to share. Or, people share when they are ready and there is not set pattern for who shares when. (SUGGESTION – Using the clockwise/counter-clockwise method seems to keep meeting flowing better.)

DIALOGUE – The facilitators have a prepared dialogue question that pertains to the topic of discussion. Couples are given ten minutes to write their love letters and an additional ten minutes for verbal dialogue.

DIALOGUE SHARING – Since the meeting has already included open sharing the dialogue sharing can be optional or can be done informally over snacks.

NEXT MEETING SCHEDULE – People should check their calendars and make sure they all know when and where the next meeting will be held, and who is responsible for which function at that meeting.

PRAYER – If there will not be a formal dialogue sharing time the closing prayer should be said before snacks.

SNACKS – Snacks are optional but a nice way to end a meeting and allow those who want to linger and talk to do so and those who need to leave to be on their way.

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